诗酒如画

爱是无形的，但爱是有限的。
既然你已经认为无法生活在一起，
也知道我根本没有勇气去说分手,
又何苦再去维系这样一份感情? 继续阅读 →

Section Three

The next month or so, I had lived like an aristocrat.  I always accompanied Xu Yong like lovers, appeared in varieties of high-level social salons.  Everything was so real, but I still was like dreaming.

Ding Yu didn’t ask much about why I did not go home that night. When I went to work, my colleagues told me that Ding Yu even called them.  I knew that Yu Ding must have learned my lying to him, but why did not he expose it?  The relationship between me and Xu Yong was very secretive, and it was also difficult for Ding Yu to have those high-level social activities.

Ding Yu had changed and just kept writing back at home and never spoke if I didn’t ask him.  His unclear attitude bored me, strangely, we started the Cold War.

Ding Yu started cooking his own meals, while Xu Yong and I had dinners in different Korean and French restaurants.  Only once when I got back home and saw the messy kitchen and several sausages on the table, my heart suddenly came up a trace of guilt.

One day, Xu Yong and I were strolling in a mall.  There was a lot of fancy clothing as if specifically designed for people like Xu Yong.  I knew I was not such people, but the original vanity was satisfied.

When I was casually looking through the expensive clothes on both sides of the racks, Xu Yong’s footsteps suddenly stopped.  Curiously, I looked at him; he did not look at me but said: “That man has been watching you.”

I looked towards his view.  My body suddenly froze, and was nailed there.

Ding Yu.

I was flurried.  He never came to this kind of places where he could not afford, and I had never had the dream of his showing up in front of us.

Ding Yu looked very complex, as if a lot of things hinged together.  His eyes made my heart pain.  I put aside Xu Yong and headed for Ding Yu: “Ding Yu, you listen to me … …”

Ding Yu turned and ran away.

I was frozen there, biting the lower lip, watching the direction where he disappeared without a move.

Xu Yong came over, held me and chuckled: “Well, stop watching, I send you home!”  I leered at him and hated him for the chuckling.  At that moment, I had a hint of fatigue and regret.  I did not answer and just let him send me home.

At home, Ding Yu was smoking cigarettes one after another.  In the light, the room was filled with the choking smoke.  Only in this short time, Ding Yu seemed aged.

I looked at the familiar face which I had loved for five years and my eyes moisten.

Ding Yu puffed the cigarette deeply and then snuffed it: “Ran, since you are back, better go to bed early.”

His calm tone was greatly beyond my expectation.  I was filled with anxiety, asked: “Don’t you … … have anything to ask me?”

He shook his head, made himself smile with frustration and sadness: “Not necessary.  There are some things I do not know better than to know.”  I bited the lip, softly said: “Yu, I … …”

Ding Yu waved his hands and interrupted my words, “Ran, never mind.  I really do not want to hear.  You and him, I knew already.”  I suddenly looked at him but saw the bitterness at the corners of his mouth: “Remember, a lot of my classmates are living better than me.  I had never believed what they said, but today I witnessed.  I have not seen your happy looking for a long time like today when you are with him.”

Ding Yu lit another cigarette, took a deep puff, had some choked voice: “Ran, I am guilty.”

I cried.  It wasn’t that he had no thoughts.  I said: “Yu, let us re-start it, okay?”

Ding Yu just puffed the cigarette and looked at me coldly.  That pale face made me dare not watch intently.

His silence gave me a clear answer.

Section Two

Dull days continued for another week.

On a weekend, Xu Yong called me when I just got off work.  I was not surprised at how he knew my phone number as he was my boss.

When I got home, Ding Yu suggested us go lakeside park, because from that day it would be open to visitors free of charge.  I told him apologetically that I had to go to a party with my colleagues that night.  Ding Yu was very disappointed, but instead he told me with smile to enjoy myself.

Huang Lun Hotel is a well-known four-star hotel in our city.  People who can often come here must be rich or noble.  When arrived in the door, I saw Xu Yong standing there in a navy blue suit.

As I entered the lobby with Xu Yong, I was overawed by the luxury in front of me.  A colored fountain was at the center and a small round table was behind the fountain.  An elegant woman was playing the piano with a soothing music.  At both sides of the table are all men and women in fancy and faddish clothing.

Subconsciously I glanced at my own dress which was out of fashion, and I cannot help being ashamed.

We sat down behind a palm tree in the lobby.  This place was very hidden, where you can glimpse the entire lobby without being seen easily from the outside.

After a few glasses of wine, I gradually relaxed myself.  Xu Yong, holding his glass with a smile, asked: “Do you know why I just invited you to dance?”

I was puzzled.

“Your gesture of sitting there alone impressed me”.  I was even more puzzled as I was not outstanding in my company which was full of beauties.
“I’m quite envious of your husband.  If I have such a beautiful wife, I will not let her hands become rough in such youthful years”

The meaning of Xu Yong’s words made me confused. Such an attractive man spoke of such suggestive words to you; I suddenly became a little afraid.  I didn’t know what I was afraid of at that moment.

I almost struggled to say: “No, President Xu.  My husband is a very competent man.”

Xu Yong laughed: “You are deluding yourself! A happy woman would not have those helpless and dazed eyes!  It makes your beautiful eyes lose their spirit!”

Those words hit my heart and I cried like a child.  This man uncovered easily my confusion for over six months.

Xu Yong touched my hair in the piano music and said gently in my ear: “Ran, let me bring the glory back into your life, will you?”

As if there was a vortex which sucked me up, I subconsciously nodded.

That night, I did not go home.

A man, ignited my passion, brought me into – Paradise Lost.

I Love My Wife, is a moving love story which I like very much.  I translated it to share with you all.  Hope you also like it.

Inscription

If one day I was going to leave this world, I hope I could die in your arms.  Even if after drinking Mengpo soup of Naihe bridge, in the other life, I still can find you by the memory in your arms.

Section One

On the wedding night, I asked Ding Yu a question: “Yu, all of us will grow old and die one day.  If you can choose, where is the ultimate destination you want?”

As soon as I spoke out, I regretted for asking such a ridiculous question on our wedding day.

Sure enough, Ding Yu was silent.

When I was going to retrieve the situation, Ding Yu said “If one day I was going to leave this world, I hope I could die in your arms.  Even if after drinking Mengpo soup of Naihe bridge, in the other life, I still can find you by the memory in your arms.”

I couldn’t see him clearly in the dark.  However, the earnest and determination in his words made me feel a huge shock and an impact on the soul.

Yes, at that time, I was the happiest woman in the world.

Ding Yu is a very gentle man.  I do not know whether it is because of such a character which prevented him and made him still a regular clerk in his company.  When got married, many friends did not understand why I chose him.  Though he earned only one fourth of my salary, I still believed that his soft heart would ease my daily hard working.

Having married for six months, we still lived in a three-story apartment owned by the company. We didn’t complain for this small set of apartment with two bedrooms and believed Ding Yu’s words “we will have a house and bread one day.”  Although I would also like to live in a beautiful house, the city of high prices made me just want to arrange daily life properly first.

However, as time went by, I gradually felt a kind of sadness. I once believed that plain life was the true meaning of love.  However, this same life day after day made me sick. The daily necessities replaced the romantic passion and the monotony in the marriage gradually made me confused about its future.

How I wish Ding Yu can also have the same feeling, or he would make some changes.  However, Ding Yu was unaware of this and was all the same as usual.  Ding Yu’s writing was very good, had published some small articles.  After work, he liked to write or paint.  However I wanted him to put more focus on his work, there were always no changes.  Over time, the confusion and sadness to marriage made my heart gradually numb and closed up, no longer felt any trace of Ding Yu’s love.

At this time, Xu Yong entered my life.

It was on a company party.  I sat alone at the side of the dance floor and sipped wine, was very bored.  A middle-aged man invited me to dance.

Many men had invited me to dance on that night but were declined for various reasons.  This man in front of me turned on his unique charm of maturation and successful career through his gestures, I could not refuse.

We danced gently in the crowd with the music.  Psychedelic lights made me dizzy.  He whispered in my ear: “Chen Ran!  Right?  Planning Department.”

I was surprised and looked up at him.  This man was not very tall, only about 1 meter 76, however, that kind of momentum made me look up at him.

“It’s strange, isn’t it?  If I do not know even my employees’ names, how can I survive!”  His frivolous tone made me nervous, doubted and asked directly: “You are … …”

The dance music ended at this time.  He held me into his arms and whispered lightly: “My name is Xu Yong.  You are the only woman who danced with me tonight.”  And then he walked away, leaving me frozen there.

This man was the Vice President of our company.  And I, was the only woman dancing with him tonight!

A trace of vanity climbed up my heart quietly.

Back home, it was early morning.  Opened the door, Ding Yu was still busy writing.  Seeing me come back, Ding Yu put over the manuscript, and took a bowl of noodles out of the kitchen.

“Ran, tired?  This is your favorite … …”

“Pork egg noodles, right?” I interrupted him. Ding Yu, was embarrassed and scratched one’s head. Married for so long, he was still often using this same action to express his loss just like when we fell in love.  I did not know why I interrupted him, but today I felt like myself a thief and said: “Besides writing and writing, making egg noodles, what else can you do?”

Ding Yu’s face suddenly changed. I looked at the steaming noodles in his hands with a little shame, softly said: “Sorry, Yu, I might be too tired.”

Ding Yu relaxed his face, and softly asked me: “well, how about go to bed early?”

“Ah.” I nodded.

First time I slept with my back facing Ding Yu.  When he embraced me from behind, I shook lightly.

DING Yu’s arm froze and shrank back.

I did not speak, in the dark, my mind had been emerging in the vigorous and graceful stature of Xu Yong.

Section Two

Dull day was continuous for a week.

It was just on weekends.  Xu Yong called me when I just got off work.  I was not surprised at how he knew my phone number as he is my boss.

When I got home, Ding Yu suggested we go lakeside park, because from today it was open to visitors free of charge.  I told him apologetically that I had to go to a party with my colleagues that night.  Ding Yu was very disappointed, but instead he asked me with smile to enjoy myself.

Huang Lun Hotel is a well-known four-star hotel in our city.  People who can often come here must be rich or noble.  When arrived in the door, I saw Xu Yong standing there in a navy blue suit.

As I entered the lobby with Xu Yong, I was when he was overawed by the luxury in front of me.  A colored fountain was at the center and a small round table was behind the fountain behind.  An elegant woman was playing the piano with a soothing music.  At both sides of the table are all men and women in fancy and faddish clothing.

Subconsciously I glanced at my own dress which was out of fashion, and I cannot help being ashamed.

We sat down behind a palm tree in the lobby.  This place was very hidden out of sight, where you can glimpse the entire lobby without being seen easily from the outside.

After a few glasses of wine, I gradually relaxed himself.  Xu Yong holding his glass and smiling, asked: “Do you know why I just invited you to dance?”

I was puzzled.

“Because your gesture of sitting there alone impressed me”.  I was even more puzzled as I was not outstanding in my company which was full of beauties.
“I’m quite envious of your husband. If I have such a beautiful wife, I will not let her hands become rough in such youthful years”

The meaning of Xu Yong’s words made me confused. Such an attractive man spoke of such suggestive words to you; I suddenly became a little afraid.  I didn’t know what I was afraid of at that moment.

I almost struggled to say : “No, President Xu.  My husband is a very competent man.”

Xu Yong laughed: “You are deluding yourself! A happy woman would not have those helpless and dazed eyes!  It makes your beautiful eyes lose their spirit!”

At that time, those words hit my heart and I cried like a child.  This man uncovered my over six months of confusion easily.

Xu Yong’s touched my hair in the piano music and said gently beside my ear: “Ran, let me bring the glory back into your life, will you?”

As if there was a vortex which sucked me up, I subconsciously nodded.

That night, I did not go home.

A man, ignited my passion, brought me into – Paradise Lost.